Maybe it’s your sister, cousin, or best friend but she’s getting married and what a privilege to be asked to be her Maid of Honour! You will be in charge of some major moments, including the bridal shower and bachelorette. You will take on many roles leading up to the big day, maybe even bodyguard.
Photo: Aiota Photography
Did you know that the position of Maid of Honour can be traced back to ancient Rome? Ancient Romans believed that evil spirits haunted weddings so to protect the bride and groom they required ten witnesses to dress in the same clothing as the couple so the spirits wouldn’t know who was who. The maid of honor was one of these attendants. She and the other bridesmaids dressed like the bride for another crucial reason – to trick very mortal aggressors, the men in the groom’s village who were jealous of the groom and might try to steal the bride away before the ceremony. Yes, ‘bride-napping’ was a thing.
The actual term ‘Maid of Honour’ originated in the UK. It means female attendants to the queen.
Today, it’s a wee bit different. You’re not signing up for Krav Maga (although, high five if you did!) or fending off angry spirits, but you are there to provide an extra level of support based on her needs.
The one question we used to get all the time from the Maid of Honour’s is, ‘My friend is getting married and she’s asked ME to also be in charge for the day. What do I do?!
Firstly – hire a professional. We do this for a living and come with years of experience and tricky ways to make an event run smoothly. We also handle stress better than most! Consider us to be your ‘Wedding Ninjas’. However, we respect that not everyone can afford a Wedding Planner; but, EVERYONE deserves to have a memorable wedding day.
So…now what.
We’ve got some tips for you on how to be the best Maid of Honour. And remember, at the end of the day, you’re there to witness your friend marry the love of her life. Enjoy every moment. And sometimes, the best gift, is the Planner. Juuuuust sayin 😉
The Budget
PRO TIP: Before you get started on anything, ask the entire wedding party about budget.
It’s best to review this topic first before starting to plan something that not everyone can afford. A budget is a sensitive topic for everyone. As long as everyone involved is honest in the beginning or willing to provide other things in lieu of spending money, (ie: baking for the events, maybe offering their house as a venue for the shower, etc.), there are ways around it!
If the bride is expecting something that involves more money than the wedding party or you can afford, let her know immediately to come up with a compromise. Some brides are fine paying their own way, for example, her portion of the hotel.
Who is Involved?
You may have many ideas, but remember, the bride has other people in her life besides you and your group of friends. It could be an aunt, a parent, or an in-law. These are often people that would either plan events like the bridal shower or want to be involved. Ask the bride what she wants. Once you have that confirmed, reach out to the other people in her life and see how they can be involved and help. Often times they can offer their house as a venue, can help putting together a guest list or help with costs!
Tips for the Bridal Shower
- Ask the Bride and Groom to provide you with a list of guests they would like to have attending so that you can plan for the right amount of food, pick your location, plan any fun games, etc.
- This is the time to let your inner decorator out and create a fun experience for guests! You can go on theme, like “English Garden” and do an Afternoon Tea! Or base it on a ‘colour’, and have, for example, gold everywhere.
- This is a great way to get the whole bridal party involved too, and split up the load. Not only can you brainstorm some fun ideas together, but some can help with decor, some help with food, etc.
PRO TIP: Have someone keep track of who provides which gift so it’s easier to send a “Thank You” card afterwards
Tips for the Bachelorette Party
- Again! Get the invite list from the Bride! However, this list will differ from the bridal shower. You might not want to invite Great-Aunty Em to a night out on the town. Unless that’s her jam, which we respect!
- Consider what your friend might want for her Bachelorette. Does she want a night of debauchery at a club, or maybe an afternoon with the girls at a winery? Does she want to start out with pedicures and end up sharing the evening with her Groom and his boys at a joint Bachelor/Bachelorette event, or run off to a wifi reception-free cabin for the weekend?
Photo: Teryn Lee Photography
Tips for the Wedding Day
On the wedding day itself, you are there as an emotional support for your bride. Don’t try to run around doing things that are out of this spectrum. Keep it simple. Stick with your bride and do the following things:
- Keep her calm. The day has a lot going on so don’t bring up anything that might stress her out
- Take care of food and beverages for the getting ready portion of the morning. Read our blog with pointers: https://sayeventsco.com/wedding-day-getting-ready-tips
- Be a barrier. LOTS of guests want to see the bride before it’s time for the ceremony to start. This is when you become a wall. Gently let guests know that they will have plenty of time to see her during dinner and now is not the time. There are exceptions to this rule like mom or grandma, but use your best judgement
- Keep the bride, yourself and everyone hydrated
- Try to encourage the wedding party to pack up their personal items before everyone has to leave. Nothing worse than bags exploded with shoes, bras and makeup when it’s time to load in the limo. Keep some order and pack those bags while the bride gets ready
- Keep an emergency kit on you. There’s a great buy at Sephora Pinch Emergency Kit or head to Dollorama and make one yourself! Things that you generally need are band-aids for those sore feet, double sided tape, bobby pins and Tylenol
- Pull her aside from everything if she needs a moment. You know her better than anyone! If she needs a moment, recognize it
- Don’t make it about you. This is the one day you are her support. If you have other matters distracting you that day, find another person to help you. Example, if you have a small child, have your partner or someone to help watch the child. If you have your own issues with someone in the wedding party, put it aside
- Have a list of numbers you might need in the moment. Often times your planner will have this available but do your homework. You need numbers like the limo company, planner, venue contact, parents, the groom and maybe the officiant. This is a just in case, but you don’t want your bride frantically looking through emails on her phone trying to find a phone number
- Go with the flow. Don’t keep looking at your watch. Know important times like the ceremony start time, dinner and dancing but know that the rest will fall into place
Photo: Meghan Hemstra Photography
Keep in mind that not every wedding is perfect. As long as people are fed, having fun and get to dance, guests are generally happy. Focus on the bigger pieces of the wedding versus the small minor details. As long as the bride is vibing with everyone, you both will share a wonderful great day together!
Love T&K
